I’ve always been a bit of a comparison junkie. I should have my own website www.comparethepersonstandingnexttome.com and sell random meerkats to hike my sales, but I don’t. Mmmm. I digress. Comparison has always been there for me – I thought it was because I am a twin – interestingly Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist came to the same conclusion. Which got me comparing how well Joshua Becker is doing compared to me. Enough already. Here’s how:
Seriously, comparison is everywhere dude! It can be really hard to truly stand strong sometimes. Everytime we leave the house – we probably want a bigger one. We get to work and we want a promotion or a better position in the office or a different desk (or at least one that faces out so we can play on the internet all day). Then there’s body image. Clothes, weight, age, sexiness, height and it’s only 9.45 am! There’s no way out but to practice awareness. Notice when you are vulnerable to comparison. In a way it’s how we make sense of our environment and our place in it. But now its the time to quit it and get focused on Team You. Urgh – did I , yeah I did, I did type that.
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane is a great analogy for stopping comparison. I never really got it till I read Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong. She talks about swimming in her book and how this concept became real while she was pondering and paddling. I’m sure Michael Phelps (famous swimmer just googled – not big on sport) doesn’t keep checking behind him. Staying in your lane means focussing on the progress of your journey not others. If you start comparing you go off course, stop entirely or crash and burn. If you just focus on what you achieve you practice gratitude and truly enjoy the gifts are your existence. – Nice !
Find your unique self
If you were a business or a blogger or any type of person or industry trying to get ahead on having a unique selling point, you would kill to not be the same. I get it ‘same’ is safe, there’s comfort in numbers but we aren’t the same no matter how we pigeonhole ourselves. Find your USP and roll with it. If you’re loud, quiet, tall or small, go with it and embrace your individuality – why fit in when you were born to stand out! – Dr Seuss (and he had class!)
Show compassion to those who don’t get it and chill with those who do
People who overly compare (notice how I said overly – to excuse me from this particular generalisation) tend to feel insecure about what they’re comparing themselves to. So if you notice judgement re: weight, it could be someone has body image issues etc. Judgement comes very close to comparison – to me it’s her vocalised, angry sister. Show compassion where you can to people who are overly judgy. Try to fill your world with people who do get it and show kindness to those who don’t. Judgement does not get rid of judgement.
Reject the system
We are taught to compare ourselves from an early age. When we are just minutes old we are put into categories based on a chart which champions ‘average’. If you’ve ever had a child, or been a child yourself that sat outside ‘average’ you’ll know the uncomfortable feeling that being on the extremes gives you. Don’t put yourself on the chart and you can’t be compared.
As always, would love to know your thoughts.
How do you stay out of comparison?